Aight here's something that's been wild to me lately.
Girls support girls. Girls support men. Men support girls. But men do not support other men. Like at all. And once you see this pattern you can't unsee it.
Social media is the easiest place to clock it. Like just go look at the receipts.
A girl posts something. Her girls are in the comments hyping her up. The guys are in the comments hyping her up. Likes are flowing. Followers are climbing. The whole timeline rallies around her.
A guy posts something. Crickets. His boys don't like the post. His boys don't comment. The girls he knows might like it if they're feeling generous. Other men scrolling past? Forget it. Zero engagement. Zero acknowledgment. Some of the homies won't even click the heart cause apparently liking another man's post is suspicious behavior now.
Same with following. The average dude's following list is 80% chicks and 20% the same 5 homies he's known since high school. Will he follow another random man? Hell nah. That'd be weird. That'd be parasocial. That'd be sus somehow. But following 400 random women he'll never meet? Totally normal behavior. Healthy even.
And don't even get me started on men reaching out to other men. You see a dude going through it? Posting cryptic stuff? Looking off in his videos? Other men will not check on him. Cause god forbid you text another dude "hey you good?" That's gay apparently. That's weird apparently. We can't have that. Better to just let him drown in silence and then act shocked when something bad happens.
Meanwhile girls will text each other paragraphs over a single sad story view. They'll show up. They'll check in. They'll DM each other "you good girlie?" without thinking twice. There's no fear of looking weird. There's no fear of intimacy with their own gender. They just do it.
Men have like a 12 foot wall up between us and any kind of real support for each other. We made it ourselves. Brick by brick. Out of insecurity and posturing we pretend isn't there. And then we wonder why male loneliness is at all time highs. Wonder why men kill themselves at four times the rate of women. Wonder why we don't have friends past 25.
Cause we don't show up for each other. Period. We're too busy being scared of looking soft.
I'm guilty of it too. I don't comment on other dudes' posts. I don't follow many men. I don't text the homies just to check in. Cause it feels weird. Cause I learned the same script everybody else did. The one that says any warmth between men gets flagged.
That script is killing us. Literally. And we keep running it.
We gotta start liking the post. Following the homie. Sending the "you good?" text. Hyping our brothers up the way the girls hype each other. Not as a movement. Not as some performative thing. Just as a normal Tuesday afternoon habit. Cause otherwise we keep dying alone while everybody else has a support system.
it is what it is twinski.