Life is so weird.
I want to be successful. I want to make a name for myself. I want people to know I existed. I want to leave something behind that mattered. That's the dream right? That's what we're all chasing.
But I could die tomorrow. Just driving in a car accident on the way to do boring errands. Going to grab groceries or pick up a prescription and then boom — life is over. Just like that. I'm just another statistic. Another headline. Another person who didn't make it home.
And nobody would know about my life. My struggles. The things I've been through. The things I was working toward. None of it. You just die and disappear and life moves on without you. The world keeps spinning. People keep going to work. Nothing pauses for you.
That's the part that messes with me.
Then I look at where I'm at right now. No real experiences. Not having fun. Feeling like I can't do anything. Feeling like I'm a waste taking up space. Stuck. And I start thinking maybe not being here would actually be better. Maybe that's a good thing for me.
But then I compare.
I think about the rising athletes. The ones who could've been superstars. Drafted, on the come-up, about to change their family's life forever. And then one bad play, one wrong landing — career over. Their body betrayed them. They never get to make those millions. They never get to buy their parents the house they promised. They never get to give back the way they always pictured.
That hits different. Because they had it. The talent. The path. The chance. And it was ripped away through no fault of their own.
So I guess I should be grateful. I'm still here. I still have a body that works. I still have time. The path isn't gone — I just haven't walked it yet.
Sometimes I randomly think about the worst situation. Like notice how driving is something we barely think about. We get in the car, we put on music, we zone out. We do it on autopilot. But that same act could get us killed. Any second. Any turn. Any stoplight.
Obviously we shouldn't be paranoid about driving. You'd never leave the house. But it's a teaching lesson. Every day we wake up to another day is a gift. Not in the cheesy Pinterest quote way. In the real way. Because tomorrow isn't promised. None of it is.
So do the things that matter to you. Today. Not when you have time, not when things calm down, not when you finally feel ready. Today. With no regrets.
Yes it's hard to do. I'm not good at it either. But it's a lesson worth remembering.
Life is so weird.
I hate it. But maybe I should hate it less.