Going out in public as an autistic person is a completely different experience than what most people imagine. It's not just "being shy" or "being antisocial." It's sensory overload. It's hearing everything, processing everything, and being unable to filter out the noise — literally and figuratively.
The Auditory Assault
I don't even try to eavesdrop. I genuinely don't want to hear other people's conversations. But people talk so loud — almost like they want to be heard by everyone outside their friend group. Like their opinion is the greatest thing to ever grace this earth. And the things that come out of their mouths are some of the most absurd, shallow, evil things I've ever heard.
Today I heard someone trashing a celebrity's looks — saying she's not even a good-looking person or "hot af". Meanwhile the person saying it is clearly no Marlon or some supermodel and definitely not mogging anyone. Do these people ever look at themselves in the mirror? Are they even remotely self-aware? It's just sickening.
But it's not even about that one moment. It's the pattern. People just constantly judge everything and everyone like it's a sport. As if they're the greatest humans of all time and everyone else exists to be rated, ranked, and torn apart. It's honestly insane.
Why So Judgmental?
Why do people have to be like this? I'll be honest — I'm judgmental too. But my judgment comes from wanting people to be better. To feel better. To do better. Not from tearing them down to make myself feel superior. There's a difference between looking at someone and thinking "I hope they find their way" and looking at someone and thinking "what a loser."
Most people never stop to do any self-reflection. They judge everyone around them but never once turn that mirror on themselves. Never once ask, "Am I just putting others down to avoid looking at my own problems?" Because that's exactly what it is. It's easier to be a dirtbag in society and pick everyone apart than it is to sit with yourself and ask why you need to do that in the first place.
Why It Hits Different With Autism
For most people, overhearing something dumb in public is a minor annoyance. You roll your eyes and move on. For me, something that small can ruin my entire day. Sometimes my entire week. That's what sensory overload does — it takes something insignificant and amplifies it until it's all you can think about. Your brain won't let it go. It loops. It spirals. And suddenly a random comment from a stranger has completely derailed you.
That's why I wear noise-cancelling headphones everywhere. AirPods genuinely saved my life — and I'm not exaggerating. The ability to block out the world and replace it with music is the only reason I can function in public spaces. Thank you, Apple. Seriously.
The Cruelty That Passes as Normal
What really gets me is how normalized it is. Talking shit about people isn't just common — it's the default. It's what friend groups bond over. It's the currency of most social interactions. Tear someone down, get a laugh, move on.
But why? Why is it impossible to talk good behind someone's back? Why can't people say something kind about someone who isn't in the room? Is that really too much to ask? Or are we so wired for cruelty that we can't function without putting someone else down?
I hate this world sometimes. Not the planet — the people on it. The casual cruelty. The lack of self-awareness. The way people treat each other like entertainment rather than human beings.
Just Be Kinder
That's all I'm asking. Be kinder. Even within your friend group. Especially within your friend group. The way you talk about people when they're not around says everything about who you are.
I've yet to meet someone like me — someone who just genuinely tries to be a good, kind person in this world without an agenda. Someone chill. Someone who doesn't need to tear others down to feel good about themselves. I wish I had a friend like that. But I'm starting to think people like me are just rare. And that's a sad thing to realize.
If you're autistic and the world feels unbearable sometimes — you're not weak. You're not overreacting. You're processing the world at a depth that most people will never understand. That's not a flaw. It's just exhausting.
Put your headphones on. Play your music. And keep going.